cool kids don’t: irreparably damage furniture while guesting on a news program

the best part is the impending doom/increasing levels of awesome the watcher feels 11 seconds in as the first leg goes. at first I was going to give this guy cool points for maintaining such a nonchalant attitude after it was the clear the chair was having none of him, but the behemoth nature of his inevitable fall instead makes him a fucking nerd who is totally encroaching on my park bench space while I am trying to absorb Hunter S. Thompson, Jesus H. Christ.

cool kids can irreparably damage furniture, but only in a non-fatal way: you can take a large chunk out of the dining room table from trying to open Bud Light beer bottles on it too many times, but if you cause the whole infrastructure of the craigslist-obtained piece of floral decor sectional to fall in on itself, no one who(se parent) pays rent in that apartment is inviting you to the Galapagos for at least three weeks.

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